Why Clouds Give Me a Case of the Vapors

A ccording to Apple, “ ... certain celebrity accounts were compromised by a very targeted attack on user names, passwords, and security questions.”1 Didn’t we cover defensive privacy tactics in my January column?2 Color me dazed and confused! Hacking in cyberspace? Nothing like that’s ever happened before. (I’ve got another heads-up for you iPhone users—Siri talks about you behind your back. I’m just sayin’.) In my personal life I build trusted relationships one tax-avoiding, jurisdiction-shopping, multinational corporation at a time. Show me a company that engages in labor arbitraging and offshore production in third-world countries paying starvation wages3 and that avoids taxes through shadow companies in Ireland (Apple Operations International) so it can reap real profits in the US only to pay virtual taxes in invisible jurisdictions4—what The New York Times calls the “Double Irish with a Dutch Sandwich”5— and I’ll show you a company that deserves my full faith and confidence. Passwords? Crypto keys? Security questions? Not needed. Oh, corporate giants, have your digital way with me!